My Darling Darkie

In China, there are some cultural differences that I will never understand. My parents would always make unsolicited comments such as... oh you got fat, why are you so dark, and what's wrong with your face? Was it a language issue, a cultural difference, or another form of tough love??? I never fully understood why they spoke to me in that manner until now.

My first date with a local guy in China was an eye-opening experience. Nice overall, but this Shanghainese guy reminded me too much of my father, speaking with a mouth full of food while picking his nose with his long dirty finger nails. YUCK! Right then and there, I quickly decided that there would be no second date. Fearful that I would not to escape with my life, I decided to tell him the bad news when I was home safe, instead of being an arm's length away from his deadly fingernail stabbing reach.

A month later, this Shanghainese guy who was also a police officer, appeared at my job. Apparently, he had been stalking me!!! One day, I found him lurking my school hallways, and quickly sat him down to put an end to this. During our chat, he tried his best to sweet talk me ... you lost weight, your skin got lighter, and you look like you have less wrinkles than before. Not exactly the perfect mix of compliments a girl wants to hear, or an American girl in my case.

Luckily for me, he quickly gave up when I told him that I had a boyfriend, who'd kick his ass. Although, some part of me will always be a bit fearful of having a local police officer lurking in the midst of a big foreign city.

Although it was a scary experience, it made me realize that many Chinese people do not realize that their behavior can be seen as rude or inappropriate, much like when a Taiwanese based company created a brand of toothpaste called "Darkie".

The brand originated because of the contrast with very dark skin and white teeth. The Chinese translation of the tooth paste was actually called "black people" or hēi ré Chinese: 黑人.

It was not until a US company acquired the brand that they changed the name to "Darlie", since the original name was just plain WRONG!!! Not to mention a horrible racist term. I was offended and I AM NOT EVEN BLACK!!!

However, the Chinese name of the brand has not changed. In fact, a Chinese-language advertising campaign reassured customers that "Black Man Toothpaste is still Black Man Toothpaste". This is because the term black man does not have any negative meaning in Chinese. The phrase black people 黑人 (hēi rén) in Chinese is a general term for persons of African descent.

Which is a main reason why we must understand that the code of conduct in China is different. They often save polite speech for limited occasions to save time, cutting corners due to the huge population. They just have too many people in their country to deal with, and must get to the point as quickly as possible. Which will explain why they are not a customer service based industry, instead of "How can I help you?" it is more like "What do you want?"

SO MOM & DAD, I FINALLY GET WHAT YOUR SAYING...BUT IT STILL DOES NOT MEAN I LIKE IT!!!